Tardiness

I warned the consultant many times before that contractors do not understand the concept of punctuality. At 10.30 am, the consultant started pacing back and forth and at half past eleven, he had nearly burnt a hole in the carpet when the contractors made an appearance.

Division of labour was observed. Work wrapped up quickly and I was almost generous in commending them on their professionalism when I discovered pee all over the toilet seat.

Seriously, how difficult can this job be? :D

NAME OF PRODUCTION:MODELS NEEDED FOR PROMOTION WORK £150-£350

A celebrity VIP branding company needs models to accompany a range of celebrities and high profile individuals that they represent on vacations and trips/tours of various sorts. The VIP company deals specifically with anything to do with luxury and extravagance, and is the number one choice by celebrities for putting together their holiday packages.

You will be required to accompany the celebrity clients on yachts, private jets, limos, parties (might be travelling on helicopter for a day to attend exclusive parties in Miami), sporting events (golf, watersports), etc. Other job requirements might be sun-bathing on a private white beach or making each other cocktails at the pool-side bar.

You must be extremely sociable, enthusiastic, outgoing, intelligent (not just a pretty face!), body perfect, no less than 5’5, well-mannered and well-spoken, a great dancer, over 18, have a valid, up to date passport! They want girls with personalities, who the celebrities can be friends with and enjoy their time with. You should not be a celebrity obsessed ‘hanger-on’ but must appear trendy, chic and sophisticated.

THIS IS NOT ESCORTING AND WILL NOT INVOLVE ANY KIND OF ADULT WORK WHATSOEVER!!

The job is very much like hostessing and promo work, except that you will be paid a daily rate to be on holiday as well as have all your expenses covered. There will be absolutely NO ADULT work or nudity involved and your safety there will be secured! You will be accompanied by a team of individuals, including an entourage of lawyers who will be there with you at all times and a booker from the agency. These are all respectable celebrities.

The job pays a minimum of £150-350 for your daily rate. However please remember that the client will be paying for all travel, accommodation, food and all other expenses whilst you are abroad, so this is a fee on top of your glamorous holiday! Please bear that in mind. You will also be abroad for anywhere up to 14 days per vacation/trip.

All you need you to do there is have lots of fun, look good, party and make sure the guests are having the best holiday of their lives!!

The next job is for a celebrity client (details of who this is will be given to you if you are selected for the job) who is going on vacation to the Bahamas and they want to be seen and photographed surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women.

A preliminary casting is taking place at our offices on FRIDAY 7th NOVEMBER 2008 (TOMORROW), and if selected you will attend a casting the following day, on SATURDAY 8th NOVEMBER 2008 for the VIP Company in central London.

PRODUCTION ROLES:as stated
PRODUCTION START DATE:November 30, 2008
PRODUCTION END DATE:January 31, 2008
MEDIA FORMAT:ModellingU

Why are Malaysians still reading The Secret?

Item number 5 under the non-fiction list is a surprise.

On carrying heavy cameras

Me: I'm afraid I might develop CTS, joint arthritis or something.
Friend: I've never heard of people developing arthritis because of the camera :P
Me: We're the new generation.

Conversation with mom

Mom: You should drop in a preserved sour plum the next time you have herbal tea.

Me: I'm lazy and I forget.

Mom: But you should! It will make the tea potent.

I pause for a while, actually considering suggesting if any scientific research has been done on this.

Me: I doubt the tea will provide any form of hay fever relief. Can we please talk about something else?

ps. This is the umpteenth time the topic of the magical properties of preserved sour plum was brought up. =.=

What do you do when you're stuck in the middle?

I was at an event and came across two stylish women carrying identical handbags - the Jimmy Choo Riki. They eventually found themselves seated several seats away from each other, with me sandwiched in between. They gave each a once over and were mortified. The situation was intense. Half expecting them to start clawing, I considered suggesting a coin toss. Before I could put my thoughts into action, I was called away by the Husband.

Let's face it. Silly as it sounds, this situation is a common theme among women all over the world. I dread when the situation is presented to me. I pray for sufficient confidence to emerge as the winner in a pointless feud.

Measure

Some would use the "Whole Wide World" expression in the context of "beyond compare". This author believes that past experience(s) is essential to make this comparison valid.